Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Daylight Savings and My Role as Raggedy Ann

Before reading this post, it is essential for all readers of this blog to become acquainted with the above song by Chris Brown. Now in no capacity am I really a fan of him, but this song, Yeah 3x, is essential for this particular misadventure. I believe it might actually be, in my book, the epitome of any misadventure I have yet to experience.
Let me set the scene for you. Just for fun and to do a little people watching, Rhi, Seamus, and I decided to leave for Mount Airy Casino at 12:30 in the morning. We figured this would be a good source of free entertainment, but little did I know that I would eventually become part of that entertainment. We chose to start out the evening (well morning) by sitting at the bar and watching people play the slot machines. This was slightly dull, so we figured the night club we be our best bet for some good laughs and we were right. There were quite a few entertainers in the crowd this morning, which were great fun to watch. The one that really caught our eye was this guy who was about 40. The best description for him would be "dancing fool." He was tearing up the dance floor with so much energy that people weren't quite sure what to do with him. Eventually he tired out and sat for a bit.
The three of us danced on and off until the dance floor started clearing out. That was when the dancing fool, who was clearly doing some surveillance, came over and asked me to dance with him. Now anybody who knows me knows that I'm a very awkward dancer. I don't mind dancing, but I'm pretty bad at it, mainly because I refuse to relax unless I'm exhausted. Apparently the dancing fool felt I would be a good sport, so we did a couple spins on the dance floor. But soon, Chris Brown's, Yeah 3x came on and things became very entertaining for Seamus and Rhi and the few stragglers left in the club. After some slightly successful attempts to get me to finally relax in my dancing shoes, the dancing fool decided to take some initiative. During the chorus of "Put your hands in the air yeah, yeah, yeah," the dancing fool decided to transform me into Raggedy Ann by swinging Kayla into the air. Once I was back on the ground, I couldn't keep from laughing, and neither could my two companions. I did learn that the fellow's name was Dominic and that he moved here from Poland two years ago. It was definitely a memorable way to fall back for daylight savings time. I think for the rest of my life, every time I hear the song, Yeah 3x, I'm going to remember my 10 second casting as Raggedy Ann.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Which Way to Oberhochstadt?


During dinner Tuesday night, I thought I would ask a harmless question about how much the bus fare is to Oberhochstadt. Due to communication issues and my Oma being who she is, this turned into a phone call to my Aunt Edith informing her that Nick and I were coming for a visit. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind, especially because I was exhausted from wandering around Frankfurt for hours. Instead of trying to explain, it was much easier to just get on a bus and go visit my aunt.
Another pitfall in this situation was that Oma didn't really explain where to get off the bus very well, and the bus driver was none too helpful to put it nicely. Needless to say when we did get off the bus at Sodener Straße and started walking, we came across a sign that said Kronberg 2km and underneath that was the word "Oberhochstadt" crossed out in red like a "no smoking" sign. Being as my aunt lives in Oberhochstadt, this was definitely not a good sign. After wandering around a bit, though, we finally came across Feldberg Straße and saw Aunt Edith perched on her balcony. She didn't mind that we were late, but ever since Tuesday night, Oma has made sure to tell anyone and everyone that we got lost and didn't listen to her. I'm pretty sure as they are reading this, my parents are chuckling because they have already been informed of this bit of information. Ahhhhh the joys of family. If I happen to comeback to the states resembling an alligator, it's due to the thick skin I have acquired.
Wednesday was a relatively uneventful day. I decided to remain at Oma's to read and watch le Tour de France on television with Oma. Aunt Herta and Ralf stopped by after work again and about an hour later, Uncle Winfried and Monika stopped in. After sitting around the kitchen table for an hour, Uncle Winfried (who I refer to in my head by another name because I swear he resembles a recently deceased dictator) offered to take Nick and me to Bad Homburg. I find their apartment complex to be almost James Bond-like because you need a key to open the gate to the underground garage. He showed us my cousin Bernd's motorcycle before we went inside. Bernd was on his way out the door, but he stopped long enough to show Nick the owner's manual to his motorcycle and give him one of his Rolls Royce work shirts. Uncle Winfried then drove him to Maiburg to visit his girlfriend and made it back in record time, which probably had a lot to do with him driving on the autobahn at 200 kph (that's about 120 mph for those scrambling to do the math or those who are too lazy to do so and just vaguely nodding in feigned understanding). Monika explained to us that Uncle Winfried's heart isn't doing so great. He has had 5 stents put in and the doctor will not let him work. He is also on betablockers and a bloodthinner, which caused him a 1 week trip to the hospital last year due to a 4hr long bloody nose from a burst vessel in his sinuses. Being brave, I told Uncle Winfried that his smoking was nicht so gut. He laughed and now gets my attention everytime he goes out for a smoke. Can we say stubborn German? Good to know it's genetic, as is the love of guns because Uncle Winfried also showed us his collection. Monika also invited us to come with them to Koblenz next week for the bundesgardenschau, so that should be fun.
Yesterday the sun was out for maybe a half hour before it started pouring. I read for awhile until the weather cleared up and then Nick and I took a train to Bad Homburg. We wandered through the park, which was stocked with endless modern art. There was one piece that I liked that had two large wine glass tipped over with red and white flowers on the ground representing the spilled wine. We walked through Karstadt and down Louise Straße. Ate lunch at the bakery before searching for the castle and witch tower (Nick said that could be my new home. I can sense the love, especially since Tuesday night he said my new home could be with the dementia patients at my aunt's work haha). We strolled through the garden's of the castle, which is where I started to note some unique and slightly out of place occurences.
First off, there was a four-poster bed in the lake by the castle. My take is that this is either some form of modern art, or the newest, most literal version of the water bed. Next, I saw a nun walking her bicycle across the street and I chuckled to myself wondering if she makes a habit out of it (now that I have elicited either a collective eyeroll or confusion, let's move on). The last intriguing sight in Bad Homburg was the Fiat (type of car) we came across. Apparently this model was the "Panda" model, and I have course desperately hoped it was run on some new bamboo biofuel.
We soon made our way back to Oma's for hamburger, mashed potatoes, and red saurkraut (yes, I fail as a German and tend to be quite bitter towards saurkraut). Aunt Edith also came over for a smoke. We happened to be in the middle of watching a documentary on the Hindenburg catastrophe, so I finished watching that before wandering into the kitchen. Somehow we got talking about where the coffee came from and Aunt Edith was hoping it wasn't from Poland.
My final note, for all of you who have been wondering, I still have the ability to corrupt people while in Germany. When in Germany, one is supposed to wait until the sign turns green to cross the street. How do I know this? Because there is a sign at every street corner that says, "Only walk when it is green or else you will set a bad example for the children." Me being me, (and also because there was no old ladies to scold me or club me with an umbrella) I have crossed the street when the sign is still red. It's the American way and I must set a bad example for the apparently easily corruptible German children.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Galilee Farewells


So my cat is laying at my feet as I type this because she has finally caught onto the fact that I am leaving. I spent most of today packing and getting everything situated for the trip tomorrow morning. I have plenty of clothes, books, and music to stay occupied for a while. I also went over a few last minute details about the route to keep my mind occupied.
My family and I all enjoyed a tasty steak dinner with baked potatoes. The typical Muth humor resonated through the air. My brother, Nick, started things off by saying, "If Matt was a doorman, he could be a doormat." Then my dad chimed in with "You could take a gamble and run the Vegas marathon." After my mother made some comment to packing heat, I finished things off by saying I would carry around my George Foreman grill. Oh how I will miss the awful humor for a month.
Nick and I then went over to Matt's house for the evening to discuss the trip and how I will be visiting his sister, Julie, in Jackson Hole. We enjoyed some Blue Moon, Bob White's dessert, and the Yankee game on radio before I had to head back home to greet Chrissy. Soon we will be getting some sleep so we can wake up bright and early to begin our epic adventure.